Someone with an umbrella

Aww. It has been raining for the whole day. Did I get the mushy feeling again? Well, not really, maybe just a little =)
Recently, life is all about schools, sports activities, stay back, ah, you name it. And I thought lower 6 was busy. Have been devoting and revolving myself in these few things. It's true, I hardly have time to breathe! It's good though to have this rainy day when you're so busy. It sort of calm you a little.
Well, since school started, everything has changed. Changed rapidly and drastically. Jules has left. He has choosen to continue his journey there, I'm happy for him, I can sense that that's what he really wants to do =)Hmm, as for me, I'm still the same, perhaps add on some weight, and get chubb-ier! Everyone is pinching my cheeks now =p
Just in these one month time, someone I know has lost both of her parents. Owh, this definitely gives me something to think about. Life is always too short, too short to love, too short to know, and to short to care. Yesh, I have been repeating this to myself over and over again. Yet, sometimes, I still being a little ungrateful. I know, sooner or later, we're leaving this world, to the other side. It's just the matter of time. Someone told me before, death is not terrifying, it's just sad. Indeed, it's true.
That is why everytime I get upset, I'll get over it in times. It's because I know, life is too short to regret. I've choosen to embrace things with wide opened heart and arms now, because I know I only live once. I've choosen to love others too. That definitely includes family and friends. Somehow, I have built up a wall in my heart, a barrier. Sometimes, I'm afraid of that kind of lovey dovey feeling. It's like there's a great force of energy holding me back from feeling that way, the feeling of guilt? I don't know, am I afraid or it's still new for me. It's strange. I want to fall head over heels, but I just couldn't. I wouldn't let myself to do that, my heart doesn't allow me either.
Despite so, I'm still a firm holder of whatever meant to happen, it happens. When the time is right, it comes. I don't have to figure it out. I don't have to expect it, I don't have to chase for it. It's because, when the time comes, that's it. Your heart will be defeated and conquered by LOVE. I know, that's true. I know someone will help you to notice the rainbow after the rain, someone will guide you to think outside the box and someone will be waiting for you with a umbrella in the heavy down pouring rain. It's the kind of LOVE that'll stop you from feeling odd to be in love =)

Love,
Sha

Black and white

A new skin for a new coming year, embracing with wide-opened arms :)

When life hits you

I've been thinking of updating my blog. But em, then again, running out of words. Got a call from a friend yesterday. She was pretty torn apart with the disssion she has to make. Yea, that does sound a little bit like me. Life always has its way to get us. I mean, when you've just recovered from the wound that won't seem to heal, something from your past is back to haunt you again. Keeping you up all night long because of the bad dreams you have at night.

When you tried so hard to fit in, and has succeded, life gives you something you would die for from your past. Gosh, her sitiuation has just reminded me of myself. I'm always torn apart when it comes to decision. There's not much I can help, because when it comes to decision you can only consult, but not decide for them. At the end of the day, you're the one who takes control of your own life. Right?

Went for prefects' interview yesterday. Was rehearsing school anthem like over and over again as we afraid they might ask us to sing, which they did not. *My case* There were 4 teachers interviewing. Hah, it was rather spooky. Lol. They were pretty friendly to be honest, not like what I imagined earlier. I assumed it went pretty smoothly except that I didn't know who's the discipline teacher :P Still, I'm hoping for the post XD

I know my parents love sis and I dearly. But I didn't realize it is that much, so, much, they love us unconditionly. Well, I guess by knowing this fact, I've grown even more, mental wise. I know, I'll always be their little girl :) And I'm loving it!!

Yea, I'm happy with my life :)

X,
Sha

Hectic Life of Mine

Sorry for the silence. I hardly have time for my own recently. Homework and notes are piling up for me to do. Yea,I guess this pre-u life isn't that easy anyway. Can't deny that I'm really tired and exciting at the same time. I can't wait to see where is this path leading me to, how I manage to go through all the little obstacles :)

These subjects are still new to me. Have to take more time to understand them. As for teachers, well, they're ok, not bad I guess. Except for one or two . Get along with classmates pretty well too. Still, sometimes I chose to be alone. I need some serenity after all :P

Just now we're all staying back for R&C activity. I am still blur what it's about. Uh, yea, I sensed racism in school,in the hall. *Sigh. I guess there's just certain issues that can't be changed. It's so common that I've already get used to it. Ah, people, you're 18!!! Grow up can you? Those younger students are even worse!

Yea, that's all for today, have to continue on my works!

#There're friends that'll wait for you at the pondok in the morning; Go to recess with you; Go to toilet together; Help you to photocopy the important form; Fly kisses to you when you're tired. They definitely make your school life BETTER#

X,
Sha

贪玩

今天突然想用手机+华语写部落格。哈哈，感觉有点怪。

好咯，写也写了，我要睡了。晚安^^

X,
莎希拉
Sha

Semi-Freshy Back in School

Finally, I received the letter to go back to school earlier than everyone expected. It's a good thing though. And so, I went to school on the the 13th of May. School was ok, but I'm not gonna deny that wearing school uniform is HOT!! Oh My God, and the weather is so terrible. It's simply annoying.

I have to stay in Bio 2 for a while until the Ministry of Education settle everything. Started our lesson today. Chemistry is not bad, Mr. Raja explained quite a lot of stuffs. Then, I get to know this Chinese guy, Elvis. And had a little conversation with Ting Tao. Well, they are both quite friendly. Get to know this Indian girl also, her name is Lalitha. She's pretty quiet and pay 100% when Mr. Raja is teaching.

En. Hussin gave us an essay to do. Well, it was ok. Have to copy all those information like so fast. Had to stay back for a little while because I didn't get to finish copy all it. It is sad, I mean, no one waits for you. Then you alone have to rush, pack, and walk all alone in the corridor.

Things are different now. I no longer have the friend to go to toilet with me every 35 minutes. I no longer have friends waiting for me in the Dewan-Terbuka. I waited, but they weren't there. They waited, but I wasn't there. It's hard to keep up when you're on your own and different way. It's just different. Now, we're supposed to wait at the tennis court before class starts. Nothing is the same anymore. Life is going to get very busy soon, ah, very tired. Haven't get used to it yet. Hope everything will be just fine.

Oh, En. Ramli is such a great counselor. He reads me. He gets me. Oh my god, I think I should go more for this kind of session. lol. At least I get to understand myself better. I think from him I know what I want for my future. I think law is no longer my field. Well, can't wait for more counseling programs!! I'm not sure whether we need to book or something. But, counseling is fun, good for your mind and soul. lol.

X,
Sha

Never Back Down

It's a gloomy Wednesday morning for me. Went to school to see Mr. Ong. Sigh. I can't return to school until the early of June. Oh my.Didn't know that it could be so troublesome. There's nothing much I can do but wait. This feeling is kinda odd. It's like you're not being accepted. I shouldn't have applied for Matrix, should I? So, I have to home-study for this moment. Oh gosh, this is simply ridiculous. I don't even know what to feel right now.

Hmm, what's the feeling of going to school as a new student? With the the students staring at you like a total freak. No, I don't like it. I like the usual way. Go to school in a group, register, and life goes on. I guess it's going to be different, very different this year.

Cut my hair just now. It's short, real short. Learning to live with it. I chose comfort over cuteness in long hair. lol. It's all about choices. I've made mine. So, move on :)

-I'm too young to die if you're going to quit me-

X,
Sha