Diary before SPM

Wow, today is officially ten days away from my SPM!!! I know I shouldn't have logged in, and blogging. But,well, need a break from this life..So, I'm trying escape from my life through blogging for a little short while. Hmm, it's amazing you know, I haven't finish my syllabus yet. Compared to PMR, I think I've finished it month before the exam. It's weird to see how things have changed so drastically. I've been working quite hard starting from last year. Getting the 'Sijil Kecemerlangan' is actually a motivation for me. To motivate me to do better. It does feel good to be confirmed by others about your success. Of course, there's quite a lot of times that I didn't get it.. It's kinda devastating to be honest.I don't know how far is true, maybe it's because I've been pushing myself since last year, and now I'm starting to lose my passion in studies..(OMG..Gotta be kidding!!..It's serious though)

I'm at the point of giving up, but still pushing myself to continue what I've started. This life is mine. This is my life. No one is going to be there to help me for the rest of my life. I have to take control of it..And that's what I'm trying to do..

Hmm, i gotta admit I have problem with time..They seem too little for me..That's the reason why I've been skipping school recently, to study. At the same time, I' having hard time to deal with my inner feelings. Melvin said I've been neglecting friends since I've been skipping school. He said we don't have much time left with them and yet I'm still skipping school. I know he got his point. I feel the same way too to be honest. I'm not perfect, I can't balance between both of it.. And so, sometimes, I chose to neglect my dearly friends by skipping school, and by seeing time past by without them , I does hurt.

I was looking at the paper my classmates wrote to me the other night. They wrote down their contact numbers and some lines which touch me tremendously. I was reading the paper written by our dearly Qinyi. Surprisingly, my tears rolled down upon my cheeks. I was really shocked. His words touched me? I was asking to myself. Well, part of it. I realized that, I was missing his sense of humour, and will always miss that. I was thinking how to survive for the rest of my life without them as my classmates. And I saw what Melvin wrote to me. It's written there' will always call one another. At least once a week' .Yea, I still remember when we made that promise. And I proceed to the next one, one by one. Hmm, I'm really going to miss high school's life.

I'm glad to have a class reunion after this, I can imagine how it goes. :)

Ok, till then..Tata..The next post should be after SPM... Since I'm leaving this blog for quite a while, I'm giving you guys a BIG KISS!!! MUACKS!!! Don't forget to visit me after SPM and STPM guys!!!

BiG kIsSesS fRoM
sha sha^^